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Childhood Dreams & Starting Over

I’ve been thinking a lot about my childhood dreams. One of my favorite exercises as a life coach is having people journal about what they would do if they were 7 years old and had unlimited time and money.

I had big dreams as a little girl. Not your run of the mill “I want to be a ballerina.” or “I want to be a rock star.” I wanted to be the first woman in the NFL and the first woman President of the United States. I wanted to change the world.

Even as I got older, I still had big dreams. I wanted to ride in the Olympics, and I wanted to write a book that would still be on the shelf 100 years after my death.

I believed that life was a precious gift from God. I wanted to make the most of it and leave a mark on the world.

It wasn’t ego. It was gratitude. Deep gratitude for the life and the gifts that I had been given. I wanted to make the most of it all.

I’ve been thinking a lot about where all that went. Where she went.

woman in blue denim shorts sitting on brown rock mountain
Photo by Leah Kelley on Pexels.com

The world has knocked me around quite a bit. But the worst of the damage, I did to myself. I broke my cardinal rule…. Don’t take criticism from people you wouldn’t ask for advice.

And I did take their criticism. I didn’t just let go of my big dreams. I let go of the small ones, too. Worse than that I told myself I didn’t deserve to be happy… or loved.

Starting over is hard. Self-discovery and self-improvement are hard.

But the benefits are worth it. I feel like I’m starting over. I’m mourning the years I’ve lost. I’m trying to figure out what’s next.

In the midst of that, I had the best Thanksgiving I’ve had since I was a little girl, spending a wonderful day with the man I love.

How was your holiday? How are you doing this holiday season?

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