I’ve been thinking a lot about my childhood dreams. One of my favorite exercises as a life coach is having people journal about what they would do if they were 7 years old and had unlimited time and money.
I had big dreams as a little girl. Not your run of the mill “I want to be a ballerina.” or “I want to be a rock star.” I wanted to be the first woman in the NFL and the first woman President of the United States. I wanted to change the world.
Even as I got older, I still had big dreams. I wanted to ride in the Olympics, and I wanted to write a book that would still be on the shelf 100 years after my death.
I believed that life was a precious gift from God. I wanted to make the most of it and leave a mark on the world.
It wasn’t ego. It was gratitude. Deep gratitude for the life and the gifts that I had been given. I wanted to make the most of it all.
I’ve been thinking a lot about where all that went. Where she went.
The world has knocked me around quite a bit. But the worst of the damage, I did to myself. I broke my cardinal rule…. Don’t take criticism from people you wouldn’t ask for advice.
And I did take their criticism. I didn’t just let go of my big dreams. I let go of the small ones, too. Worse than that I told myself I didn’t deserve to be happy… or loved.
Starting over is hard. Self-discovery and self-improvement are hard.
But the benefits are worth it. I feel like I’m starting over. I’m mourning the years I’ve lost. I’m trying to figure out what’s next.
In the midst of that, I had the best Thanksgiving I’ve had since I was a little girl, spending a wonderful day with the man I love.
How was your holiday? How are you doing this holiday season?