I’m recovering from 3D bunion correction surgery. I had surgery on the 30th. I don’t remember much from the first week after. I slept a lot, which is good.
The last week or so I’ve been trying to balance getting things done and resting. Monday, I’m getting my stitches out and should be able to ditch the crutches. I’ll still be in a boot, but I’ll be walking.
I’ve need this surgery for many, many years. I’m extremely flat-footed and have been in constant pain since I was 18. This, however, has been the first time in my life that I’ve had the help and support I need to be able to actually have it done.
For each surgery, you’re non-weight bearing for the first 3-4 weeks. With the right foot, you can’t drive until the boot comes off, which is 6-8 weeks. With horses, donkeys, cats, and dogs, that just wasn’t an option for me until now.
Thankfully, I know have my husband and his family, who are really there for each other… and me.
It’s been hard for me to let go this much, to admit that I need help and accept it. My husband has been amazing. Kind, thoughtful, understanding.
But when you’ve spent a lifetime being told how selfish you are for wanting something for yourself… When you’ve spent a lifetime being abused and let down by people who were supposed to love you…
It’s hard to accept that anyone will be there for you without resentment. It’s hard to believe that there won’t be consequences for needing someone.
This has been and continues to be a lesson in love and grief for me. I’m learning what true unconditional love looks and feels like. I’m also learning what it looks like to grieve for your past self, for the life you could have had if you believed you were enough.
Learning that you’re worthy to be loved is a difficult lesson. You understand it and accept it intellectually long before your heart ever understands.
I’m grateful that my husband has been such a kind and understanding guide. I’m grateful that my Al-Anon sponsor and my best friend have been here to listen. I’m grateful to my in-laws for their love and support.
I’m looking forward to a day when I can walk and run and wear beautiful shoes without pain, and I’m so grateful to the people helping me get there!
I hope you’re having a wonderful holiday season!