I have to confess. One of the things that has held me back is a fear that putting myself out there would set me up to have other people tear me down.

I’ve had the same conversation with my BFF over and over again. We both hold back to please others and to keep from being criticized.

We tell each other that we shouldn’t be willing to accept criticism from anyone we wouldn’t take advice from, but we still let the fear lead.

I had a great reality check today while listening to one of my favorite podcasts.

The host Clinton Anderson pointed out that haters happen because you’re successful, and that’s a good thing. He also shared that criticism made him work that much harder to prove them wrong.

Once upon a time, I used to be that way. The fastest way to get me to do something was to tell me I couldn’t.

In grad school, everyone told me it would be impossible to finish my MA in two years. I proved them all wrong. And I had been doing that all my life.

Years of being married to a covert narcissist changed that. I spent those years changing to avoid the constant criticism and the subsequent fights.

But I can’t be my authentic self if my actions are guided by other people’s opinions rather than my own inner guide.

I have to have the courage to just be me and to stop apologizing for it, because haters are a good thing.